Feeling run down

The last two days from being up before the sun is really getting to me.  I have more time to be bored (hard to imagine) and exhausted at the same time.  The dutiful housewife is stretched out thin.  I've really been trying to work hard with Phoenix doing his exercises and to keep him happy that Tristen is feeling the neglect.  I try my hardest to divide my time up between them, but its hard when I have an almost one and a half year old that is basically at the level of a newborn.  Phoenix constantly cries when I'm working with him, he hates it all.  And if I don't do it he will never get any better.  His OT wants us to up  his therapy sessions as well, that would mean some weeks he would have 5 sessions an hour long and then 4 the next week.  And two of them I would have to drive to.  I really shouldn't sound whiny I'm happy to be able to have these services but at the same time we shouldn't have to have them.  Phoenix should be a "normal" little boy able to crawl and walk and play with his brother.  I realize that my life will never be normal but what really is normal.  This life that I've been handed in what is "normal" to me.  But I look and see all these families with beautiful children hitting there milestones on time or even early and I just want to cry with frustration.  I find myself pulling away and back into a shell.  I find it hard to relate but I'm trying. 

Sorry if this doesn't make sense, i've spell checked it and reread it a few times with a ton of errors...my typing is all messed up, I believe i'm more tired then I think.  But anyway Phoenix is awake so now off to start my evening.

He really does like the swing